Every hour that passes Tobirama regrets the detour they took to Tanzaku-gai more and more.
They had gained some valuable intel, true, but nothing immediately related to their mission, and nothing Izuna couldn't have figured out by going on his own at a later date.
He had known that he would be pushing his limits, but Tobirama underestimated just how quickly his body would begin to rebel against him as soon as he passed the edge of his range. By the end of the first day it had grown noticeably harder to breathe fully, and as they've carried on to the next a familiar tickle has started to creep up the back of his throat. He believes he must have already offended Izuna earlier by rejecting conversation, but Tobirama knows that if he has to speak more than two words at once right now his breathlessness will become obvious.
He's already come to terms with the fact that they’re going to have to stop in order to take care of his symptoms, but he seems to have been overconfident even in this. It only takes one breath, slightly deeper than he meant to, and his lungs begin to spasm outside of his control. The attack comes on so suddenly, so strong, that he has no hopes of hiding it. Izuna glances back at him at the first cough, and stops moving entirely as Tobirama braces his arm on a tree and hunches over to relieve the pressure in his chest as his throat continues to spasm.
"Senju? What's wrong?" Izuna asks. But Tobirama can't answer him with more than a glance and a wheeze.
"Report your injuries." Izuna tries again, voice harder with authority. Tobirama reaches fingers down his own throat until he gets a grip on what's growing up it, enough to pull free a few leaves. At least it's only leaves -- that's one of the kinder things his body has expelled.
"Chakra." Is all he manages to choke out before more plant life blocks his windpipe. Now that he's coughed up one leaf, it seems that the rest want to follow.
Izuna does not seem to know who to do without an immediately visible injury to treat. He hovers around Tobirama for a long moment, hands twitching, eyes gone red and darting around like they might find the source of the problem.
"Chakra…" He mutters to himself. And then, louder, "If I use a medical jutsu on you, will that make it worse?"
Tobirama shakes his head, but even that small movement is enough to make his throat spasm again. His head is already starting to ache and his vision go dark around the edges. Izuna grabs his shoulder with one hand and pushes the other as far down his chest as Tobirama’s armor will allow. The Uchiha is no master of medicine, but even the small pulse of a diagnostic jutsu Izuna sends through his system is enough of a reprieve for Tobirama to pull his chakra together.
It's only a temporary solution, but so long as he remains focused, Tobirama should be able to keep the debris to a slow, if continuous, trickle. He wipes his mouth with his sleeve, tossing away the last of the leaves as he goes. They're oak, small and soft in a way that speaks of fresh growth. The only blood that's come with them is the usual amount that comes with an attack like this.
Izuna has retreated, but only by a few steps. His hands are still outstretched like he might need to diagnose Tobirama of having plants in his lungs again, and his sharingan still spins slow and steady.
"I thought it was your brother who had the mokuton."
"Yes." Tobirama agrees. "This is unrelated. It will not affect the mission any more than it has."
As if to spite him specifically, a final tiny leaf makes its way out of his throat and makes his voice go hoarse in the last words. He hides the resulting cough in his fist.
"If we can shelter somewhere for a few hours I can mitigate the symptoms entirely." He adds at Izuna's hard expression.
"Symptoms… So it's an illness."
"It's not contagious."
"Not what I was worried about."
Izuna stares at him with his sharingan active for another long few moments before his eyes fade to deep black.
"There's a cave not far ahead. I've sheltered there before."
He turns to lead the way, but he does not take to the trees or begin to run, and after less than a minute slows his pace so that Tobirama is forced to walk alongside him. Tobirama does his best to tamp down on his irritation so that it doesn’t send him coughing again.
Still --
"I can move faster than this."
"But should you?" Izuna's reaction has been carefully dispassionate so far. Now his voice shifts to something more like a reprimand. "How long have you been sick?"
Izuna's tone is the same one he uses when he's planning to be especially obstinate on some point in a meeting, and Tobirama can already tell that he won't be able to escape this mission without giving him some sort of explanation -- not unless he wants Izuna to go asking around about what he's just seen in search of answers.
The truth behind his condition is a clan secret, which if spread could lead to their complete downfall in a matter of hours. Tobirama sighs, but the sound that escapes his lips is more of a wheeze.
"I have a deficiency in my chakra coils," He settles on a half-truth. "which allows for natural chakra to leak into my system to the point that it needs to be expelled. I have tools to manage it."
All technically the truth. What he does not say is that this deficiency is not unique to him, but one that nearly every Senju shares. That they typically stop the circulation of natural chakra into their systems by bonding each other's chakra together so tightly that it cannot leak through. That within his clan, the malady Tobirama suffers is viewed as something that only strikes down the unloved. Nor does he mention how each time he lets his patchwork of weak and temporary one way bonds falter -- this time with prolonged distance -- his affliction seems to return more quickly and acutely than the time before.
"Natural chakra, as in the kind that turns people to stone?" Izuna asks sharply. Tobirama bows his head in a tired nod, and Izuna's eyes linger on him with unnatural intensity for a long moment before he snaps his head away.
"I see." Izuna answers unhappily. "But you didn't answer my question. How long?"
Tobirama sighs and has to clear his throat from the itch that it causes.
"About a decade."
And that's the truth, too, in a way. Izuna hums in acknowledgment, discontent with those answers but aware enough to know that Tobirama is already at the limit of what he'll give up. Upset, possibly, about the fact that Tobirama has matched him for so many years with such an obvious weakness.
By the time they reach the cave Izuna spoke of, Tobirama is short of breath and the sky has gone grey and cold. The first drops of rain begin to fall right as Tobirama ducks beneath the stone overhang.
It isn’t bad weather for what he is about to do. He glances shortly at Izuna -- who is watching him rather than the exit point, rolls his eyes, and reaches up to bite into his palm hard enough to draw blood.
Hiran is his most taciturn summon, the one least likely to divulge information that he does not want Izuna to have. She is also suited exceptionally well for cold weather -- though Tobirama has misjudged her size; there's hardly any room to maneuver around her.
The polar bear chuffs, and immediately extends one paw to hook around Tobirama's waist and reel him in close enough to start grooming his hair with her tongue. Her chakra immediately begins to twine with his as well, his coils immediately relaxing from the strain.
She does not allow him to move until she is satisfied with the front of his head, and even then only allows him to move just enough to turn around so that she can reach the back side of his hair.
"You don't summon us enough, cub." She chastises. "Look at the state you're in."
"I've been doing well." He argues, though his voice remains hoarse and contradicts his point. "This was just an error of timing on my part."
Hiran's paw pulls at him further, until he's forced to collapse against her side. Tobirama doesn't fight it -- this was what he expected when he summoned her after all.
Across the cave, Izuna has retreated as close to the entrance as he can get without stepping out into the rain.
"Bear summons." He states, voice pitchy. "How come I've never met your bear summons?"
Tobirama’s bond with Hiran tightens and stabilizes, and he can feel through her chakra, around the worry, the same sort of amusement she gets when deciding to play with prey before it dies. He fights to keep his lips from twitching up.
"Their contract is not for combat" Tobirama confirms, voice rasping painfully. His throat is still raw, but already the tightness in his lungs is starting to lessen.
Izuna throws his hands up, expression clearly asking how, but he doesn't actually voice it and so Tobirama doesn't bother to answer. He can admit to understanding Izuna's confusion -- his bears are big and dangerous and would be an asset in battle. They've even offered, but Tobirama refused them. Keeping his summons separate from that aspect of his life separate felt like the safer decision, ironically, since as far as he can tell the reason his clansmen are hesitant to form bonds with him are because they see him as cold and callous due to his actions during wartime -- on top of his personality, he assumes.
"Do you have any fish?" Hiran asks out of nowhere. Her dark eyes are focused on the Uchiha. "Or venison? I'm hungry."
"Dried things." Tobirama coughs. "Have you not been hunting well?"
"I have. But I'm always hungry." She makes a show of smacking her lips, and Izuna edges away even further to the point where rain starts to dampen his hair.
"I assume you're going to need to take a minute." Izuna says, posture tense as though he believes Hiran's teasing is a real threat. "So I'm going to scout out the area."
He retreats out of sight nearly immediately. Tobirama doesn't question why he was so eager to go -- if he sensed the need for privacy, or wanted time to think on his own, or if he truly does fear a giant bear. With him gone Tobirama's remaining tension also evaporates, and without exactly meaning to he ends up dozing as Hiran continues grooming him.
She finishes before Izuna returns, and because it's Hiran, who only ever does exactly what she wants to do, she sees no problem in waking him up with a difficult question.
"Cub." She nudges her cold nose into his ear and huffs on him when he scowls. "Why were you in this state? Last I heard, you said you were doing better."
"I am, generally speaking. I only mistimed how long I would be away from my… Support network."
She grumbles disapprovingly. "You should have summoned one of us to travel with you then."
Tobirama shakes his head. "I am on a mission, and one where stealth is required. I will have to send you back before we leave."
Hiran is very clearly not happy with that, because she presses more of her weight down on him. But at least she doesn't argue, like most of his other summons would.
The trouble with relying on his summons has always been that the bond he forms with them -- as are his bonds with anyone, these days -- are temporary. It cannot stay formed long past when they return to their summon realm, and so as soon as they're gone his condition will start to degenerate again. In the past, even an hour spent with them would be enough to keep Tobirama going for months. But if he loses control of his coils as quickly as he did when his bonds in the village became too distant to hold on to, he won't even last until they make it to the mission site.
He hums to himself, discontent. He has an experimental medicine that he's been working on that will clog the spaces in his coils, but testing with it has left him feeling sick and unable to generate chakra as long as it lasts, as well as unable to use chakra to sense his surroundings. He's completed missions under worse conditions, but not with a partner involved. Izuna will depending on his skills to be up to their usual level, so they must be, or else his earlier statement about being mission ready will have been a lie.
"You know your options, cub." Hiran says without lifting her head from where it sits on top of his own.
They aren't good ones. Sickness, one way or the other, or having to bring his summons along to his work. Or…
Izuna ducks into the cave, steam rising from his shoulders where he cycles fire chakra to dry his clothes. His sharingan is activated and each of his hands are hooked under the gills of a fairly sizable trout.
"Good news." He announces. "Fresh food."
Hiran radiates how pleased she is through their bond, though whether it's because Izuna is sucking up to her or because she agrees with the plan Tobirama is already tentatively putting into effect, he cannot say.
"Hm. He is acceptable." Hiran says. Izuna visibly preens under the praise as he moves to start preparing the fish to be cooked. Why he cares at all about his summon's approval, Tobirama has no idea, but Izuna isn't winning it for the reason he thinks he is.
Izuna's chakra is steady and warm where Tobirama threads his own through. He's focused, curious, wary, and gives no indication that he can feel someone else's chakra settling around his own. Typically one does not take such an active role in forming a bond like this. It's the sort of thing that happens over time, as relationships deepen and the people involved spend time with each other, but Tobirama has become something of an expert in forming a bond manually over the years. Unless Izuna is secretly a natural sensor -- and Tobirama has never heard of anyone outside of the Uzumaki who is -- he won't notice anything amiss unless he meditates on his chakra fairly deeply.
Izuna's chakra network is strong enough to withstand more than his students back home -- Tobirama never bonds too deeply with them because without knowing the effects of a bond with a non-Senju he fears smothering their growth. He has no fear of that with Izuna, who does not even appear to have to suppress a shiver at the chill he sometimes notices others feel when he presses their chakra together.
Tobirama doesn’t opt for anything too complicated, nor does he try to nudge Izuna's chakra with his own. He just braids his chakra in with Izuna’s tight enough that nothing but Izuna's own chakra could leak through any gap, tying them together with the equivalent of the sort of knot that can be undone by simply pulling on one end. He won't have to focus on it that way, but it will be simple enough to remove later. A one sided-bond made like this fragile enough that Izuna could potentially break it simply by flaring his chakra too suddenly or strongly; given that he's an Uchiha and prone to bursts of sudden emotion, Tobirama will simply have to pay attention and account for it.
Hiran tilts her head to meet Tobirama's eye, flicking an ear in acknowledgement that she does recognize what Tobirama is doing, and that she agrees with it. Izuna's eyes flick over to them, clearly trying to examine what the movement means before turning to face them fully.
"Apologies for not introducing myself before. This one is Izuna Uchiha." He says.
"This one his Hiran, den mother. If one of those fish is for me, I prefer it raw."
Izuna smirks, bows and presents one of the fish to Hiran in a way that is probably meant to be polite. Hiran huffs, cranes her neck forward, and snatches it out of his hand to swallow, bones and all. Izuna’s smile freezes in place, eyes darting towards Tobirama like he has anything to do with that. Tobirama can feel his chakra ripple with… Some kind of subtle emotion. Based on his face it might be discomfort.
"I've stabilized" Tobirama says instead of addressing any of that. "We should be able to move as soon as we've finished eating."
"Hm." Izuna answers, turning away to prod at the fish that he’s put over the fire. “If you say so.”
If Tobirama's students were Senju, he's certain that they would be properly bonded by now.
But they aren't, and Tobirama is careful with his bonds. Truthfully he shouldn't indulge in bonding with them at all. But he needs at least a few, and he tells himself that knowing their chakra level and emotional state is a useful teaching tool.
So, on the mornings they have practice, Tobirama threads his chakra through his students’, and in the afternoons he lets it trail free as they make their ways home. When their chakra flares at whatever frustration or teenage drama they're dealing with, he lets them push him away and allows the bond to trail free until the next time he meets them..
He is expecting for his bond with Izuna to follow the same pattern. Months later, he finds himself still waiting.
Logically, the bond should have slipped free as soon as they spend a night in their own homes. Tobirama has made no effort to tighten it since the mission concluded, but even now, his chakra remains intertwined with Izuna's, as stable as ever.
Part of it is that Izuna is a fully grown adult, not prone to the wild mood-swings of puberty, but Tobirama is surprised to find that his chakra is far more stable than his outward actions would make it appear. It isn't just that his chakra control is so advanced that he naturally prevents his emotions from influencing it either, though that too is a factor. Tobirama can feel the fluctuations; the quiet hum of happiness, the buzz of annoyance; the tingling burn of anger makes far fewer appearances than he had expected. Every time Izuna looks at him there's a hum of feeling that Tobirama reads as more pleased than hostile.
Coincidentally, working with Izuna goes far more smoothly now than it did before. It's much easier to keep his temper in check when he can feel when the other man is teasing, and ever since they've returned from the last mission Izuna hasn't been pushing as far as he usually does. He hasn't noticed the bond, but Tobirama wonders if maybe Izuna isn't still benefiting from it anyways -- the one-way connections he's grown adept at making aren't a well-documented phenomena, after all.
As something of a side effect to getting along with Izuna, the two of them are made to work together more and more often. With the level of understanding he now has, it only makes sense. They hand off projects and mission dossiers to each other with a smoothness that Tobirama has never experienced in his working life before.
Hashirama is obviously delighted about it, though thankfully he doesn't actually say anything, like he's too afraid that pointing it out will make it stop happening. It might, if he starts to look too deeply into things. But his joy is painfully obvious; when he calls the two of them into his office to assign them another joint mission all of the plants that line his office are swaying in an unfelt wind.
The mission is a follow-up to their last one, technically, and while it doesn’t absolutely require both of them Tobirama does not argue against it as much as he ordinarily would have. For one thing, it offers him the rare chance to leave the village without having to worry about a relapse, and for another Tobirama can tell, now, that though Izuna complains about being paired with him on a mission again that it's all theatrics. When Hashirama hands him this mission scroll his chakra radiates a feeling that Tobirama would classify as pleased, or maybe even smug. With that knowledge in hand Tobirama is able to recognize that Izuna isn't complaining about him so much as he's complaining about being told to do things by Hashirama, and trying to get Tobirama to join in.
He's not going to, but the realization is enlightening.
But, Tobirama doesn't realize until it's too late, he's made a fatal error in his handling of the situation. Just as they’re about to leave, Izuna glances at him with a sly smile and says, "Let's see if we can get this done fast enough that you don’t start coughing up leaves this time."
By leading Izuna to believe that his situation is one that is known and unremarkable he prevented the Uchiha from asking questions about it, but in exchange Izuna now thinks that it's something that he can comment on casually. His grin fades at Tobirama's careful non reaction, but Tobirama doesn't notice, too busy considering escape routes -- if he and Izuna leave right now, then maybe Hashirama will think that he's misheard and let the matter drop.
Tobirama manages only a half step backwards before hearing the sound of wood-on-wood -- of mokuton vines sprouting just enough to stick the door and windows shut.
"Sorry!" Hashirama says, his cheer now painfully false, "Izuna-san, could you repeat that?"
Izuna is frozen in place, both his body and his chakra exactingly still, as though he's not certain if he's going to react to the threat yet or not. Dark eyes slide over to Tobirama, and even with the bond in place Tobirama struggles to read what he's thinking right now.
"Just a joke." He says slowly -- is he curious or concerned? -- "The last time we went on a mission together we had to stop in the middle of it so that Tobirama could deal with his cough. He was spitting out leaves for maybe two hours, there."
"Huh!" Hashirama answers, manically bright. "That's what I thought! But, see, that shouldn't be possible?"
Tobirama keeps his lips pressed tight, no idea in the slightest what he could say to diffuse things. Izuna does nothing at all to help. Instead he leans in, face a perfect picture of polite curiosity even as his chakra roils.
"He said it was because of a deficiency in his coils that let natural chakra in…?"
"Did he!" Hashirama is on his feet now, slowly closing in on Tobirama until he’s close enough to grab him by the shoulders and hold him there. His eyes flick all over Tobirama like he's going to discover a hidden wound, "See, it's something like that, but it can't be, because that only happens when someone is unloved, and I know my brother isn't!"
Tobirama can't help himself. He scoffs.
"That is a myth." He says, "Other people's feelings have nothing to do with it."
Hashirama goes still and quiet, staring at Tobirama like he can't quite process what he's heard. The silence lasts so long that Tobirama starts to flush red with mortification, but when he tries to jerk himself out of his brother's hands Hashirama's grip holds him in place.
"Tobirama." He says, in that awful, earnest way of his. "Explain, please?"
"I-- This should be a private conversation."
"Tobirama!" Hashirama shakes him, ignoring his protests and no doubt seeing right through his intention to flee.
"Anija, stop! You're being dramatic. All that happened--" When he hesitates, knowing full well what his confession is going to cause, Hashirama's grip tightens again. Tobirama's voice falls lower. "All that happened was that my bonds were not sufficient enough to stop natural chakra from entering my system. There is no need to worry, the issue is fixed, now."
"Your bonds? But…" Hashirama still doesn't let him go, staring at him like he's handed him some kind of mystery instead of a well-researched answer.
Even without being bonded to him Tobirama can feel his brother's chakra shift, like a large predator moving around in the water. Hashirama's chakra is so unwieldy and he has so many bonds that it's troublesome, sometimes even dangerous, for him to put pressure on any one specifically. He hasn't done so with Tobirama's in over a decade.
Realizing what his brother is doing, Tobirama pulls at the chakra he still has threaded with Izuna's. It takes more effort than he expects. There is no knot tying them, but his chakra resists drawing away, like the bond is sticky somehow, and when he tugs it free Izuna sucks in a breath and straightens his shoulders.
"Senju." His eyes are fixed on Tobirama. "What did you just do?"
But Tobirama can't answer him right now, not with the bulk of Hashirama's chakra bearing down on him.
The brittle, dead connections of the bond that they'd shared as children crumble like so much dust the moment Hashirama puts attention on them. All of Tobirama's instincts warn him to stay still, like prey in the jaws of a predator. Hashirama only seems to notice after he's demolished them entirely, his eyes flying wide when his chakra finally brushes against Tobirama's own.
"Oh." Hashirama breathes in devastation, "Oh, Tobirama, otoutou, oh, no, no. I thought -- this whole time, I thought --!"
Tobirama can guess what he thought. He would go searching for their bond, find that old, dead thing, feel nothing, and would assume that Tobirama felt nothing. Tobirama has been playing into that assumption for years.
Hashirama gets more choked up the more he tries to speak, mouth wobbling, breath starting to come in shorter gasps, until Tobirama can't bear to look at him any longer. Even just pressed together like this, even as tightly coiled against intrusions as Tobirama's chakra is, his brother's emotions are just as overwhelming as he remembers them to be. His throat clogs with sadness that isn't even his own.
"…Anija." Tobirama tries to warn, but all Hashirama does is shift his chakra around to surround his entirely. It isn't any better. Technically, Tobirama supposes, he could fully relax like this and not have to worry about taking in any natural chakra. He does no such thing.
The next breath Hashirama takes is wet and unsteady, but his eyes are still dry.
"How long?" He asks, and Tobirama finally looks up, incredulous. Hashirama should know full well when they stopped maintaining their bond. With his chakra surrounded on all sides like this, some of his prickling defensiveness leaks through. Hashirama bites his lip. "The-- natural chakra, I mean."
"…Shortly before Chihi-ue died."
Short in a broad sense. Tobirama's only strong bond back then had been the one his father had imposed on him and he had been slowly weakening it for years. He was lucky -- not only could he prove that his symptoms were caused by a weak bond, but he had been able to quantify just how weak that bond had to be before he would start suffering from them. It had given him time to put backup plans in place -- to forge his summoning contract, to learn how to wind his own chakra tightly with itself so that less natural chakra could leak through. He had opted not to break that bond in its entirety until a few months before his father's death.
His answer only seems to make Hashirama more miserable. Knowing that he'll be able to feel his sincerity through his chakra now, Tobirama forces himself to look up and meet his brother's eyes.
"I have it handled." He insists, "That incident was an anomaly, it hasn't happened since."
Still, Hashirama makes an uncertain sound, his chakra brushing against Tobirama as gently as his brother is able.
"You said it was because of a lack of bonds, and I don't feel…"
"I maintain enough that I don't have to suffer." Tobirama grits out -- it is true, even if he never holds all of those bonds at once like a normal Senju would -- though if his brother goes searching right now, he'll find that at this moment that Tobirama has no bonds at all. Izuna is the one who makes a sound of understanding, though.
"Does that include the one you just broke with me?"
Both brothers look at him sharply and Izuna matches them coolly. Tobirama is torn on how to answer -- Izuna already knows far too much, but if he lies, like this, Hashirama will know. Or perhaps it won't matter because no matter what he was going to say, Hashirama can still feel how uncomfortable the question makes him and intuit the answer anyways. He makes a sound a lot like a whimper, his voice high and wavering.
"You had a bond with--?!"
Finally he removes his hand from Tobirama's shoulder to scrub over his face.
Tobirama doesn't know what the right thing to say is here -- he never seems to when it comes to matters like this. Is it better if he has, or if he hasn't? Is it worth defending that the bond was only one way and temporary, or will saying that only make things worse? Moving away from him certainly does. Hashirama drops his other hand when Tobirama takes a step back but his chakra wavers in a way that is very uncomfortable when it's surrounding Tobirama on all sides like this.
Again, Izuna is the one who seems to understand just how badly Tobirama wants to be away from here, even despite now lacking any connection with Tobirama, because he chimes in with a smile. "Well, if that's settled, we have a mission to get on with."
Hashirama flinches at the reminder, he starts to say, "I don't think you should --" but cuts himself off, seeing or feeling something from Tobirama that makes him look away with guilt.
"Alright." He agrees quietly instead. "But it would make me feel a lot better if…If before you go, you --"
He extends a tendril of chakra, the feeling of it not unlike a root of mokuton wood being torn up from the ground. It is an offer of a bond -- a surface level, superficial one that can only be deepened into a real deep bond with time and maintenance, but it’s also a bond that will extend in two directions and therefore something Tobirama hasn't had in many years.
He doesn't know whether he wants to accept it or not, but that doesn't matter because Tobirama is going to form the bond regardless; Hashirama would take it far too personally if he didn't.
And maybe he does miss some things about having a connection like that, but…
"Less than that." He tells his brother. "Your chakra was always too much even when I was used to it."
Hashirama's face can't fall any further or else Tobirama is sure that's what it would do, but the tendril of chakra is pulled back until just a sliver of it remains. Still enough for some flexibility, still enough to carefully twine around Tobirama's chakra when he offers a sliver of his in return.
Even as little as it is, the feeling of a reciprocal bond is nearly deafening to all of Tobirama's other senses for a moment. His own chakra is so sensitive that he can feel not only the tight curl of Hashirama's guilt but a mess of feedback from all of his other bonds before the feeling of it all is abruptly muffled. Tobirama blinks to find Hashirama smiling apologetically -- he's shielding his own emotions from Tobirama, something he wasn't even capable of doing as children.
They stare at each other for a long moment, Hashirama's smile wavering at the edges when it becomes obvious that neither of them know what to say.
"Hmm. You know if this is really so important I'm sure I can handle this mission by myself." Izuna pipes up.
"No." Tobirama straightens his face, if not his chakra. "This has been handled, we can go."
Hashirama doesn't try to stop him again; his hands flex like he wants to, but they stay at his sides and the door doesn't hold itself shut when Tobirama pulls at it. He doesn't look back to see what face his brother is making when he goes. Izuna does, and he smiles.
"Ah, otoutou…" Hashirama calls as they go. Tobirama freezes in place, not willing to turn around and face him again. But his brother only says. "Good luck. And… Thank you."
What is he thanking him for? Even with a bond he doesn't think he'll ever understand Hashirama's nonsense.
Tobirama nods in acknowledgement and continues on. Izuna, still wearing that oddly indulgent smile, catches his eye and asks, "Meet you at the gates in twenty?"
"…Affirmative." Tobirama answers.
Tobirama has to go make his own preparations, and has no time to linger to watch Izuna leave to make his own. That he had that impulse at all feels odd, but Tobirama knows the reason for it. This will be the first time in months that he won't be able to tell what Izuna is feeling from afar. In fact, with a bond with Hashirama in place there is no need for him to reform that lopsided bond again. His brother is powerful enough that distance will be no object to keeping it active, and right now he is likely going to be especially focused on trying to do so. Izuna hadn't even known that their bond existed until Tobirama took it away. And yet still, something about the idea of never having that again...
It makes him feel bittersweet, maybe. The two of them certainly seemed to be able to understand each other better after Tobirama had formed it. It would be a shame to go back to how they were before. Now that Izuna knows he is likely to --
Tobirama pauses as he goes to grab his mission pack, eyebrows furrowed. His instinct is still to say that Izuna would never accept such a thing happening again, but he hadn't seemed too upset at the revelation of his bond with Tobirama. Then again, Tobirama is dubious about his ability to read Izuna's feelings without the bond in place. He is someone who smiles when he's angry.
Well, Tobirama isn't likely to have to wait long. Izuna has the entirety of this upcoming mission to make his thoughts known -- and in fact when Tobirama meets him at the village gates, Izuna greets him with curved eyes and another enigmatic smile.
Beyond that Izuna has no pleasantries to spare for him. He gestures for Tobirama to go ahead and follows just beside him as they take off into the woods. Normally he's chattier than this, at least when they're still within the forest that just surrounds the village, but this time Izuna stays quiet. Every time Tobirama glances at him, Izuna looks back. Tobirama tries to refrain from guessing at what he's thinking, but it's hard not to theorize; each time he looks, Izuna is still smiling.
The only guess Tobirama has for Izuna's behavior is that the Uchiha is trying to get a reaction out of him, and if he is, then his plan is working. The lack of understanding where he used to have it itches under Tobirama's ribs, and unfortunately the only solution he can think of is to ask.
He manages to keep his curiosity to himself until they reach the outpost that marks the border of where Konoha shinobi officially patrol. After they leave here the tree branches become too thin to be jumped across, and so the two of them will have to continue at ground level. As if sensing his intention, Izuna slows to a more reasonable pace as they leave tree cover. Despite all of the time he's had to think of something to say, when Izuna turns and gives him that knowing look again all of the framework Tobirama has built crumbles away.
"Say what you're thinking, Uchiha." He snaps.
Izuna's smile is still there, but the sly way it widens makes Tobirama's stomach do an uncomfortable flip.
"Are you going to put it back?" He asks.
"…What?" Is all Tobirama can manage. In this situation 'it' probably only refers to one thing, but shouldn't Izuna be furious at the breach of privacy? Instead he leans forward, almost eager.
"Your chakra. You were using me to keep from getting sick, right?"
"I…" Well, if he isn't upset, isn't that a good thing? "I was. Now that my brother is aware of the situation it isn't necessary."
"Isn't it?"
"…No?" Tobirama hedges. "I'm stable now, it's not required."
Izuna clicks his tongue. "Can you really call yourself stable without a backup plan in place? You? Of all people?"
All of Tobirama's old fallbacks should still be perfectly viable options. He stares at Izuna -- it's obvious what he's hinting at, and yet it seems so unbelievable.
"Are you… offering to host my chakra bond again?"
"Yes!" Izuna answers, incredulous, like what he’s offering should be obvious. "But this time you have to tell me when it's happening so I can pay attention to it."
"That's --" Honestly, not a terrible idea. Tobirama can admit that Izuna was right that it would be better if he had a failsafe in place. It's only that Izuna has stalked closer to him to look up at him from beneath his eyelashes -- the fact that he's offering of his own free will at all -- has made Tobirama's heart begin to thud. How many years had he waited for someone to offer that? And how many years ago had he given up on ever hearing it?
There is a muted feeling through the bond, Hashirama making an inquiry into what was likely a large upset in Tobirama's own chakra. Tobirama sends back no issue as well as he can remember how to and then mutes his feelings from transmitting through the bond as best he can. Another point in his favor: Izuna won't be able to do that.
"If. You want to, we can." Tobirama finishes lamely. His cheeks are burning, and only grow hotter as Izuna grabs his hand to drag him off to whatever location he has in mind. If he wanted to, Tobirama could reform the bond as they walked, whatever arrangements Izuna is making must all be for his benefit. So that he can make his observations, which Tobirama should put a stop to, if only he weren't interested in hearing what they are himself. This sort of situation is rare, and kept private when it does happen, and clearly Izuna can feel the bond in some way after all, so whatever he learns could be valuable…
"Up!" Izuna chides, tugging Tobirama back to attention. The outpost has platforms in the trees surrounding it, to be manned in case this area needs to be defended, and for whatever reason Izuna has picked one of these for whatever it is that he wants. It's… Better than the forest floor, Tobirama supposes. Especially since Izuna's plan seems to be to push him into sitting down so that the Uchiha can straddle him and settle his weight in his lap. Tobirama nearly snaps at him that this is unnecessary before he realizes what Izuna must be going for -- chakra transfers are best done skin to skin, and that is the closest analog Izuna he has for what Tobirama can do. In that case, he keeps his mouth shut even when Izuna's hands settle around his shoulders.
Izuna shifts his weight around and takes a deep breath. This close, it's difficult for Tobirama to avoid looking into his eyes, and so the only safe place for him to look is at the smirk that has returned to its spot on Izuna's lips.
"Alright." Izuna says. "I'm ready. Put it in me."
Tobirama finds himself shifting his chakra more tentatively than he did when he was trying to form a bond with Izuna undetected. Rather than immediately begin to thread it through his system as he did before he pushes the edge of his up against Izuna's.
"Ooh." Izuna breaths, gripping Tobirama tighter, "That is you!"
"Could you tell that before?" Tobirama asks, and Izuna twitches back to attention from whatever strange trance he had started to fall into.
"Well I know what your chakra feels like, and I had a suspicion you had done something, but I needed more context to confirm it." He frowns. "That's not it, is it?"
"No." Tobirama huffs. Izuna had already said he was ready so he stops hesitating and begins to weave a strand of his chakra into Izuna's system, the same as he did before. Izuna makes a sound in his throat, his hands flex again and he leans forward in Tobirama's lap until he is close enough that Tobirama can feel his breath ghost over his face. Just as he starts to wind their chakra together, Izuna gives a full body twitch.
"Ah, wait." He says, voice airy. "You can go deeper than that, can't you?"
Izuna's chakra isn't capable of moving in the same way that Tobirama's is, nor is it capable of giving off the same emotional impressions, but Izuna has enough control to flex his chakra around where Tobirama's has wound into it, which is what he does.
Izuna may as well have struck him with lightning because the feeling of it sends sparks skittering up and out from inside of him, his whole body feeling suddenly strange and shaky. The only thing nearby he can grab on to steady himself is Izuna himself, and the groan the man makes when Tobirama's hands tighten on his waist doesn't seem to be one of pain.
It's enough to make him pause. Forming a bond shouldn’t have this sort of effect on someone without at least some kind of mutual attraction, at least from what Tobirama has been told, and it must be strong for Izuna to be able to feel it.
The Uchiha squirms around impatiently in his lap. Tobirama holds in a sharp breath and concedes that there may be more attraction on his end than he had realized. But for him not to have felt anything of the sort coming from Izuna, that means --
"Come on, Senju." Izuna complains. Mouth dry, Tobirama complies. It isn't as though Izuna suffered any ill-effects from the last time, and he certainly spoke as though this bond was supposed to be longer term. What harm is there in going for a deeper bond?
When he moves to start winding his chakra even deeper into Izuna's system the man responds by dragging Tobirama closer, until his face is held in the junction between the man's throat and shoulder and he can feel nails digging into the back of his scalp.
There are, Tobirama considers as he slowly begins to wind his chakra into the delicate extremities of Izuna's system, three main possibilities that explain how things have ended up this way. The first: that he has somehow stumbled upon an anomaly, something unseen or otherwise undiscussed in all of the research he's done on bonds. The second: that he has been misinterpreting how he reads the fluctuations in Izuna's chakra all this time. The third: that Izuna's feelings, whatever they are, whatever depth he holds them in, were present before Tobirama ever formed that first bond and remained unchanging through its entire duration such that Tobirama couldn't even recognize it as a disruption in the usual pattern to take note of.
Izuna shifts forward with a sigh and begins… gnawing on the shell of his ear? Tobirama grunts and grabs Izuna by the jaw to pull him away. He looks flushed, pupils blown wide in the way Tobirama associates with drunkenness.
"Distracting." He chides, but Izuna's expression and chakra only bloom into a flavor of pleased with that same electric quality of before.
Yes, this is certainly something he's going to have to look more into.
With perhaps less caution than he had at the start, Tobirama continues winding his chakra throughout Izuna's system, each tendril prompting a pleased sound and for Izuna to relax further until his entire weight is draped over Tobirama's chest. Even once he secures the final loop of chakra in place, Izuna remains lax and unmoving until Tobirama jostles him by the shoulder.
"Uchiha, it's done."
"Mm, that's good." Izuna answers, grinning and letting himself be pushed around in, body lazy way of someone who's just woken from a long nap. He pats a hand on his own chest. "I've got you now. You're not going anywhere."
He ripples his chakra again, too, around the whole of the bond. The feeling isn't as raw this time, but it's enough to force Tobirama to fight having to blush.
"Quit saying nonsense." Tobirama answers, pushing Izuna off of him and glaring at him when instead of supporting his own weight he sprawls out on the platform like he's trying to imitate a courtesan in a shunga print. Tobirama nudges him with his foot, "We still have a mission to complete, if you're finished."
"Alright, alright." Izuna agrees, sitting himself up and making a show of straightening his clothes. He flutters his eyelashes, "If you start to feel like you need to cough again, let me know. I'm sure you could make this thing tighter."
"…Ridiculous." Tobirama answers, only staying long enough to confirm that Izuna is in fact getting back to his feet before turning and launching himself back in the direction that they're meant to be travelling. He's less at risk of falling ill now than he has been in years. If he was going to do anything more with their bond, it would be only as an experiment.
Izuna falls in step behind him a moment later, a sense of smugness radiating out of their bond so strongly that Tobirama wonders if Hashirama can feel it back in Konoha. Maybe he ought to consider it anyway, if he has such a willing participant.